Top 10 Ways to Drive Your Co-workers crazy by Jessica Hodges
This time of year is rough. It’s usually pretty cold and bleak outside and really you just want to lay in your bed all morning. Why not liven things up a bit?
1.Wanna Buy Something For My Kid’s School Sale?
First send out an email, letting every know what your child is selling, when you will be collecting money, and what it is for. Make sure to say something like “it’s just a couple of dollars and it would mean so much to her.” As deadline approaches, corner people in the breakroom, restroom, in the elevator, or at their cars to ask them one on one if they would like to purchase complimentary nuts or wrapping paper or whatever you’re selling. Pretty soon you’ll notice that people tend to avoid you or walk faster when you start talking to them.
2. Dress up Day
In order to generate a happy buzz around the office, declare that next Wednesday is ‘Dress Like an Eighties Rock Star Day.’ Sample Email for HR:
As you know, Wednesday is ‘Dress Like an Eighties Rock Star Day’ again here at IdioCorp, and once again, the team with the best costumes wins free pizza from the Westside High School Cafeteria and a KISS trophy. Please do NOT even think about wearing some lame zebra t-shirt and jeans and pretend like you are trying. I want to see some real TEAM SPIRIT this year and THIS MEANS YOU! Let’s show all the teams here that we are the hottest, most hair-spray-addicted eighties rock stars ever! Let’s show them that Team Andrejiewski Rocks!
PS–Anyone arriving for work Wednesday wearing appropriate office attire will be sent home. I’m not kidding. Don’t embarrass me again this year or you’ll be sorry for a long, long time.
3. Be Possessive
Everything in the office is now yours. Refer to your cubicle as “MY Office” or the fax machine as “MY Fax Machine.” Even refer to your boss as “MY boss” when talking to other coworkers. Possessive pronouns make you sound like you’re in 4th grade, claiming your skateboard.
4. iPhone Trick
Trick those coworkers that love their iPhone and have the standard ringtone/text message sound. Go to Annoy Phone in a new tab so that you can click on the sound and change tabs really fast so they can’t see it’s you. And only do it enough to be annoying, not to make them suspicious. Sometimes you should just let it ring once which would make them feel like they keep losing reception or have a faulty phone and need to return it.
5. Copy Your Boss
Whether your boss is a male or female, copy their outfits and where them the next day (as much as is reasonable and professional.) If asked where you got your shirt or pants or skirt, say you borrowed it from your roommate or oh this old thing? I’ve had this forever.
6. Get in the elevator and pretend to hold the door open for invisible people.
7.Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during the meeting. During the meeting eat entire raw potatoes.
8.Hang mistletoe over your desk.
9.Drop a pen and wait for someone to pick it up. When they do, scream “That’s Mine!!!”
10. Answer every phone call on speakerphone and act like you are doing something (like rearranging papers, typing, brushing your hair) that doesn’t allow you to actually hold the phone.
Alright so get started. I think we’ll make this a weekly tradition. So look forward to our favorite ideas to liven up your office each week!
Thanks to pgrundy. Please add the way you annoy people at your office (or the way they annoy you..which can be flip flopped to get them back) in the comments below and we’ll post them next week!
>>Head over to Part 2