How to Woo the Modern Woman
Hey guys! Today we’re going to take a break from our usual office supply love affair and talk about something a little different. Spring romance! They don’t call it Spring Fever for nothing. Springtime represents a clean slate, new beginnings and the possibility of a budding romance. In case you have been living under a rock, we’re sure you already know that the good ol’ days of tossing a girl a bouquet of generic flowers are pretty much over. Whether you have your eye on someone special, or if you just want to show your current sweetie that you care, you will definitely have to put in more effort into her likes and interest. That means trying just a liiiiittle bit harder. Recently, one of our very own Shopletters had a horrid courtship experience. For the sake of this story, let’s just call her “Alli.”
On any given day, Alli can be found rockin’ her designer leather moto jacket and tall boots to the office. Her dry sense of humor and knack for speaking her mind are part of her many quirky charms. Alli is the kind of girl who can appreciate a fine whiskey and would always be down for a quick game of soccer. One day while at the office, she received a rather cringeworthy bouquet of flowers from an admirer. The bouquet was stuffed with a menagerie of half-dead carnations, sunflowers and roses. If the carnations weren’t already the kiss of death, than the oversized martini glass shaped vase that housed this awful arrangement definitely was. What’s even worse was that Alli was greeted later that night with exact same flower arrangement waiting for her at her door!
Although her admirer probably meant well, Alli admits that it was a complete turn off. The gesture ultimately showed Alli that this man wasn’t thinking about her likes, preferences or even her personality. She was also a taken aback at the fact that the same bouquet showed up at her front door that night– as if 1 martini glass isn’t enough! In the end, Alli went her own way and the poor dude was left in the dust. OUCH. The moral of the story is that no gesture at all is always better than one that is poorly thought out or done half heartedly.
SO! Gentlemen (and ladies), in the spirit of Alli’s experience and to prevent such travesties from ever happening again in the future, here are a few new age rules and some classic ones that will help you to navigate the modern dating scene. (You can thank us later!)
Scrap flowers and order take-out.
The ladies in our office unanimously agreed that they would trade a bouquet of flowers for a juicy burger with sweet potato fries any day. See guys! Women aren’t that hard to figure out. Like many of you, the way to our heart is through our stomach!
If you own a car, pick her up.
Being too used to having everything at our convenience can sometimes overshadow simple common sense and manners. For example, if you asked a girl out on a date, don’t ask her to meet you at the restaurant. Don’t send a taxi to “fetch” her. And if you don’t have a car and she does, definitely DON’T ask her to give you a ride to the presumed destination. A gentleman (even in the modern day) should always offer to pick up his date. Of course she is entitled to accept or deny this offer based on her preferences but you should always offer, and offer graciously.
Don”t sweat the check.
There’s nothing worse than going out with a guy who is nickel and diming the entire date. If your date had a CNN style play-by-play on the financial investment you’ve made that evening, don’t be surprised if she closes her account with you!
Don’t brag about your wealth.
There’s nothing worse than sitting across from a man who has nothing to talk about other than his money. It’s great that you are doing well for yourself, but a quality woman will not be impressed with your yacht club membership and luxury car collection as much as she will be by your interests and opinions on a subject. And if she is more interested in your yacht, then you have yourself a certified gold digger.
Don’t be rude to waitstaff.
This rule goes for all service industry professionals spanning from your valet attendant to retail employees. The way you treat others is a direct reflection on the type of person that you are. One of our Shopletters shared a story where her date was extremely rude to a waiter. She was so embarrassed that she left while her date was in the restroom. No one wants to be associated with rude behavior.
Dude! Get off your phone!
You finally get to meet up with the girl you’ve been crushing on only to spend the entire date tethered to your phone? Why bother? One Shopletter told us a story where her date was Instagramming their entire meal. He even went so far as to take selfies right at the dinner table. EW! If you want to make your date feel like you’d rather be anywhere else than spending time with her, by all means text away! But don’t be surprised if you end up #Instasingle!
Flip Flops… just… no.
This is a public service announcement: Unless you are going to the beach or pool, never wear flip flops on a first date (preferably any date). EVER. No exceptions. That goes for you too, ladies. Put some real shoes on will you?
If you invite her over to your place, make sure your bathroom is clean.
Our Shoplet ladies unanimously agreed that a filthy bathroom might be an indication of messier things to come. Some of our ladies said that a downright dirty bathroom might also be an indication of poor hygiene! Yuck! So bust out the Scrubbin Bubbles! Because this one could be a deal breaker.
Texting isn’t enough when breaking plans.
If you are unable to keep a date, CALL! If your lady doesn’t pick up, leave a voicemail. We’re all adults here and we promise, it’s not that scary to speak into a phone. If you want to send a text for good measure, that’s great but always call when breaking plans. It’s just in good taste and will be appreciated by anyone who understands proper manners.