Which Dad is He?

It’s almost that time of the year again. This day, nationwide, each one of us hold within us crucial power to exalt, or devastate the ego of the one man each one of us hold most dear, or despair. So choose your present most wisely. That day is the upcoming Father’s day, which is to take place on next Sunday, June 15th. So this year, instead of grabbing the closest merchandise at your disposal as you hurriedly run past the men’s section at your local department store ( which tends to have a high frequency of ending up at the bottom of the drawer), let’s really get him something he will remember! The first step is to understand your dad completely and fully. May we suggest looking at his office environment to get the full picture of the man you think you know so well? Below are some dads we have identified according to their work habitats, see which one resembles your dad the most!

Father and son walking

The Dad From the Past

This is your dad if his office looks like this. He is a great dad! Affectionate, caring, compassionate, helped you with your homework, and taught you endearing values that assisted you in making ethical decisions as you grew up to be contributing members of our society. However somewhere along the trajectory of the rest of the developing world, he dropped off right before Thomas Friedman released his definitive tome on the state of the world, The World is Flat. He missed out the lesson on the information economy. He is stuck in the past. He does his job quietly and steadily, however the burden and the speed of the 21st century is really catching up with him.

The Tree-Hugging Dad

He is the dad au natural. Everything about him is truly altruistic and humanitarian. He cares about the state of the world as an ecologically balanced place for future generations. Everything about him is green. He loves the natural environment, and goes to occasionally excessive length to make sure that what he is consuming is just “right”. His office is wherever the sun shines. He decided long ago to dedicate his life to preserve mother earth. The forces of nature may not have dampened his liveliness and vitality much, but they have definitely left marks on his physical self.

The Mom Among Dads

He is the greatest dad in the world. He is the man among man, the mom among man, the mom among dads. He is the stay at home dad. Growing up, he always made sure to pour your breakfast cereal exactly just right so when you ate it, the cereal was in the perfect equilibrium of moistness and crunchiness. He figured out long ago the perfect household concoction to get those tough-to-get stains out. He attended every important event in your life, and somehow always managed to capture those precious moments in your life in photos even Kodak would envy. Remember, he may not complain about it much, but sometimes he does need a break from the perfect dad routine.

The Trophy Dad

He is the dad that looks great on paper. He has the best job in the industry. His name inspires awe and slight trepidation. His job is a whirlwind on the fast lane. He always calls from undisclosed locations around the world. Toys were aplenty growing up, so were other guilt-inspired blinged-out compensation items. He was always missing from some of the most important moments in your life. All right, by now, all your material possessions have probably piled up, and it’s getting old. Your dad is just slightly too good at his job to the point you never see him much anymore. He is just slightly too good at compartmentalizing when he is at work. Maybe it’s really time to try to invade his personal space.

The Dad Who Never Was

You never knew him. There was always a void in your heart growing up. He was the reason you spend unnecessary amount of time and money on the same reclining couch at a certain someone’s location, for the past god knows how long, recounting details of times past, trying to figure out what went wrong. You have trouble getting close to that special someone. You may be a tad bit more independent, more antisocial, more guarded, more neurotic than the average population. Maybe for this father’s day, really do something to try to resolve your MIA daddy issues.

Now what? You have identified your dad according to his work habitat, now what should you get him? Tune in next week to find what we suggest for each one of the dads listed above.

  • i think my dad is a fuse between a trophy dad and a tree-hugging dad. he wasnt spoiled when he was young but he has most of the toys he wants now with an excellent job o_O
    -Jerry